whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
