Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
