so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
