so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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