This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
NoShamevember. You game?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
