once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
