what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
