ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
