My hand turned me down
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
