The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
