my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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