can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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