Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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