what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
