i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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