Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
