Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am spending my child support on dildos
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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