my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
