Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
