a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
