suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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