Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
