No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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