Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
