You smell like stripper and shame
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
