btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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