Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need water and some morals
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
