hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
