A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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