he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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