By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
