idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
