there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
