AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
