well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
