Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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