Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
