so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
did i walk over a car last night?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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