He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
