I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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