nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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