I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
