I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
