But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
