grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
worst night to have a conscience
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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