we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
