They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
