some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
