god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
