it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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